hello

hello everyone, long time no blog.
i cant remember a lot about last year it all went in a blurr, im still having councilling, as is james. stevie is doing betterer now and has just got engaged to her boyfriend. mike is on his phase 2 army training and also doing really well :) im so proud of the 3 of them as would paul be :D
ive only got mollee now, as had to have tillee put to sleep last year, she mourned for paul and her life with him, started getting nasty and lashed out at james missing his face by mills, it was not good and a very sad time, in my heart paul spoke to me and said to give her to him hed sort her out :) we burried her with all her favourite things in the back garden under the goosegog bush , just stevie, james, molls and me, had our own little ceremony.
ive got 6 chooks again, 3 originals, i i hatched 2 yr ago and 2 new ones from a friend, they all seem happy, and in the mornings stoop down for strokes and tickles lol x
ive also now got 2 kittens ninja and pixie, they will be a yr old in august. gorgeous wee things and have brought some fun and laughter back to the home, mollee loves them to bits, the chooks put up with them as they go and lay in their run lol. when i go up to the chooks the kits are there with me saying come on mum we want strokes too lol
so my menagerie is still strong very loving and keep us entertained lol x

im trying very hard to make an evening meal each day now, as everything went by the wayside for a while. its been hard going and some days it still feels impossible to cope, but i have to i have james and stevie who need me, i feel paul around me all the time, feel his love :)
its coming up to our wedding aniversary in a few days time, 23rd May should have been 2 yrs. mixed emotions, last year i got very drunk and poorly oops.... but the neighbours did light some fireworks for me which was a nice close to the day, not sure what to do this year, maybe just remember by myself.

ive lost contact with some special friends , i havnt meant to its just been so difficult to correspond, i didnt send any xmas cards out i couldnt bring myself to do them, although we had a pleasant day, my dad, brother and sil came for xmas day, stevie, mike and me dad were here boxing day. my friends and family have been amazing in fact they have kept me going and supported me so much i dont know what id have done without them.

James decorated his bedroom easter 2 walls are red 2 walls egypian gold, it looks really good, and we moved it around so he had more room for his drums :) of which hes doing really well at, plays along to most tunes really proud of him :) he starts secondary september *shock* dont know where that times gone either.

think thats about all really at the moment, just wanted to say hi and yes im still here...... just lol x

my beloved husband

my beloved husband, Paul Magrino, sandly passed away in the early hours of sunday 14th february, he is now at peace from the awfull cancer that ravaged his body.
it is awfully quiet here without him, and we are all missing him terribly :( .
he went peacefully in bed by my side, the way he and i had wished for.

just like to thank my husband for all that he did for us, all the happy memories i have of him. i love you so much, you will always be in my heart and never forgotten. dont forget you have our farm and woodland to grow and build, ready for when i join you once again. take care my darling .

some of james' lego models

thought id have a change of theme LOL, and post a few pics up of james' lego creations, to which hes very proud of :o) rightly so :o)
this one is the electronical working area for the stage
this is the stage with all the lighting and disco effects, with a building/workshop in the back ground

some of the many vehicles

his crane

the full picture of his stage/disco area

hope you like them :o)

james on his sleigh this morning

couple of pics coming back from the shop, let james take his sleigh so he could scoot down the hill LOL

few pics of the chook area this morning

well once id managed to open the gate, i was able to go and let them out LOL

if you think were going out in that stuff again ?

well if i must, i am rather hungry

well in the end 6 came out, went back up 1/2 hour later with some warm porridge for them nad finally managed to coax the other 2 out LOL

very pink toes all day, james cleared one of the bench seats off and most of the day they sat up there LOL
now nicely snuggled back up in bed :o)

...................................

took mollee out aswell earlier with james (school closed for the day due to yes the snow LOL) he took his sledge with him so could go down the hills and banks into the woods etc, had aa super time, mols was leaping around like a loopylala , everytime james went down the slopes shed chase after him, then come running back up to me barking, if james took too long getting of the sledge the other end, she'd run back done jump all over him licking his face, saying come on then, i want to chase you down the hills LOL, was so funny, we finally came home and dried off, warmed ourselves up with hot chocolate and marshmallows and hot buttered toast. very nice :o)

couldnt take tillee, in season and we'd have lost her in the deep snow LOL too cold for her as shes just a tots :o)

few snowey pictures

just took a few pics of the snow falling tonight, already 3" here and still snowing LOL
dont know what the chooks will think tomorrow when i let them out either ..

Happy new year

just like to send everyone new year messages, of hope, prosperity, love, togetherness, peacefullness and harmony Happy New Year to one and all :o) hope 2010 gives and brings you everything you wish and hope for :o)

Happy Christmas

we'd just like to wish everyone a happy christmas, hope youve all had a lovely day today.

much love and hugs to all :o)

more snow :o)

went for a lovely this morning with the girls in the woods, took the camera so paul could enjoy it to, hes not well enough to go out in the snow and ice now, so thought id take pictures for him :o)
heres a few, plus a couple before we went in the garden :o)


this is my log, when its dry ill often sit here thinking and relaxing with nature, very calming place for me :o)

off we go woo hoo LOL

tots is watching the chooks again, seeing all their noise and commotion this morning as more white stuff that freezes their little feet.

mols waiting , so come on then mum, stop the pictures, put your boots on and lets get out properly in the snow LOL

snowing :o)

its snowed at last :o) i love the snow, the girls seem to aswell not so sure about the chooks though LOL